Dual....:-)
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
