i think my mom watched the whole time
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
