More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
