Having a random hookup so left but love u
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
