You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
