My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
