High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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