Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's never too late to be topless.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
