Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
