Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
