boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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