I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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