drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
