My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
