my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She announced her abortion via fbk
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
