Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
