we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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