I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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