I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
