What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
