i jhust puked up my retainher.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
