At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
