Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
