Swine flu. Run for my life!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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