Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
