ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
