I'm jealous of your bromance
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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