you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
