He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
