she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
