i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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