sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
