I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
