wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Even my vagina gasped.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Can you bring me the toilet please
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
