Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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