I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
