I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
