Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
