just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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