If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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