His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
