In the future we'll all be gay
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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