Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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