So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
