this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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