I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize