did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
