Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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