GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
