I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
