That's intense
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
