Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
