i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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