I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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