Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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