I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
